I think that my heart is aching more than ever before in my entire life!!! Just a few hours ago we had to put Turtle (our dog) to sleep. She had been sick for some time, off and on. This sickness was so bad. She couldn't move. We had been trying to get her sugar levels down, through IV, for two days and it did go down, but today they realized that she had a parasite that was eating her insides (due to her failure to fight off flies b/c she was so weak and when she would go outside to potty the flies would attack her) and I couldn't bare to make her go through the pain that she was in. We had asked the Dr. to tell us if he thought her quality of life was at stake, and he told us today that there was barely even a slim chance, and that the state that she was in currently, would be the best shape that she could be in, which was weak, and in pain.
When I walked into the room she was staring at me with her white (from old age) face and gave me the saddess look. Jason and I both were crying so hard. She started REALLY crying when I started kissing her, like she was saying "Mom I don't feel good". We made the HORRIBLE decision to let her go and I have to say that it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I cannot even begin to explain how much emotional pain I'm in, and it's totally unexpected. My heart just aches.
I feel so awful for doing what I had to do, and I miss her already sooooo much!
I knows she's in a better place where she can run, jump, eat all the treats she wants and is the fastest dog EVER...! Wow, this is some intense emotional trama!
Turtle, you were the best and you'll always be in our hearts...forever and ever!
